Thursday Night SmackDown

Soon to be followed by Tuesday Night RAW. These will not be brought to us by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), a much nobler institution than our two political parties. “Nobler?” you ask? Am I not just a bit irreverent? No, sir! WWE knows that it is doing and does not attempt to cover itself in anything except tongue-in-cheek glory and well-earned profits. It knows the business it is in. It’s called Entertainment. Nor are the fans of wrestling much deceived, when they root for Sheamus against The Miz, into thinking that in some way they’re taking part in saving the world from approaching Armageddon. It’s just bread for them and circuses for us. But as for those vice- and presidential debates, where the referee almost trembles in his or her honor to preside over the fray, they need to get with the program. The next time, say for next Tuesday Night’s RAW, wouldn’t it be a lot more genuinely entertaining to watch CM Punk take on Antonio Cesaro? I think so. Ahead of it, to be sure, two emissaries, one from each campaign, could exchange white papers in which each candidate would present a detailed, written description of his policies—to be printed in newspapers of record. Then on to the breathless fun of it all. I’d also stay around for the following Shields and Brooks as these two gentlemen try their best to explain just why the Punk won or perhaps lost—register their views on the miserable or horrid refereeing—and what that odd sack filled with something might have contained that that cute cheerleader, wearing a crown, threw at the wrestlers just before Cesaro smacked the Punk down at the end, or did Punk slip on something?